batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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