so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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