Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
