the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
