Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Randomize
