i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Acid is not a monday night drug
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
porn star boner night. come get it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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