....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
