You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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