I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
