when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize