I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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