My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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