I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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