would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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