but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
