I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize