dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
