apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
