I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
