Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
