I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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