sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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