the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
