u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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