my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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