...so i touched it.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
