i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
