you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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