I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
