Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
