there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
