guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Randomize
