I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i think my mom watched the whole time
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
