I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
