Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
