you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
