I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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