quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
