There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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