I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i can't believe i had my finger in that
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
These tits shall not be calmed
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