I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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