She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
