It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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