he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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