he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Im part way to drunk.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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