I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
All I want is dick and wine.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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