Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
