Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
