im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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