Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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