Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
