I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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