I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
