Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
