Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize