my mouth tastes like poor choices
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
