i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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