Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
