and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
