If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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