he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I touched a dick in church today
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
