operation have a gay friend backfired
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
