guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
