I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
