..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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