worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
