I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize