you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
