I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
