Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize